Book Review: Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray, PhD

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IP is over the quota

Recently I've read the book, Why Mars and Venus Collide, Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress by John Gray, Ph.D. I absolutely loved the book! I must say, this is a much needed book for couples because it educates and gives insights and specific tips and strategies on dealing with stress in men and women.

The book explains how our brains are structured and function differently thus affecting our behavior. In a chapter called Hardwired to Be Different the author points out that "Men and women possess two different types of brains, designed equally for intelligent behavior". The main difference is that men have more gray matter than women do and women have more white matter than men do. This fact alone explains why we excel at different tasks and communicate differently. The chapter also points out why men are focused on one task at a time and women are multitasking, as well as why men are risk takers and women are conservative and prioritize security. Because of the fundamental difference in brain structure and function women should not expect men to behave like women and vice versa. We should respect these differences and work with each other keeping these differences in mind.

Another part of the book points out the difference in hormones and how it affects our behavior. Special emphasis is made on stress hormones and their effect on a man's and a woman's well being. Women generally need to focus on keeping their oxytocin levels up and men need to focus on keeping their testosterone levels up. The author gives a list of 100 ways a woman can raise her oxytocin levels and 100 ways a man can help a woman raise her oxytocin levels. I found the 90/10 solution for a woman to keep her feel-good hormone up especially revealing; this is something I always will keep in my mind. There are also tips on how a woman can help her man raise his testosterone levels.

Three chapters of the book the author dedicated to explaining why the fights start, what we can do to prevent them, how to stop a fight and how to make up after a fight. These chapters are loaded with helpful tips and suggestions. From now on I will keep in mind that "mixing feelings and problem solving simply doesn't work". The author suggests that we have two types of conversations -- one to lessen emotional tension, called Venus Talk, and the other to solve the problem.

I had several "Aha" moments while reading the book. This is the book I will be referring to to get answers and reminders on how to deal with stress and improve a relationship with my partner. Now I have a better understanding of our differences and what my partner and I need to effectively cope with stress. I know that applying the tips and strategies described in the book will help couples bring the best out of their partners.

If you like this article you might like other articles on my blog

Influence the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B Cialdini, PhD

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"Vaikutus: vainoamaan psykologian" oli kirjoitettu, koska tekij?n uskoi, ett? on psykologian noudattamista. Johdannossa Robert Cialdinistates; "Voi my?nn?n se foistware ? vapaasti nyt. Kaikki el?m?ni olen ollut patsy. Osalta, kun voin muistaa, kun olen ollut helppoa merkitse kauppiailta, rahaston raisers ja toimijoiden yksi lajittelu ja pallot." Taidokkaasti kokoaan suorittaessaan suuren suhteutetaan ja kirjoitettu yli 35 vuoden kesto, kirjan selitt?? miksi ihmiset sanoa "Kyll?" ja kuinka soveltaa t?m?n sopimuksen jokap?iv?isess? el?m?ss? psykologian. Kuluttajien haluamme sit? mielt?, ett? emme ei voi helposti halpaan myyj?n mukaan. Kirja kuitenkin osoittautuu, ett? meill? on parhaillaan "sucked," jokap?iv?iseen ostaa asioita emme halua tai tarvitse.

Noudattamista taktiikka k?ytet??n myynnin, varainhankinta-kent?ss? ja mainontaa, paljastettiin eettisi? vainoamaan kuuden universal periaatteita. Kirjan kerrotaan psykologinen laukaisee ett? vaikutusvaltaa pyynt?jen noudattamiseksi ja kattaa, miten k?ynnistimiin k?ytet??n. K?yt? tulla koulutettuja persuader tai puolustaa itse?si vastaan. Toivottavasti periaatteiden siirt?? henkil?kohtaiset muutos kohti lukija ja menestys voima toimia.

Yksinkertainen totuudet

Expensive merkitsee laadun turkoosi korut, matkailijoiden piikin kauden [markkinoiden puoleen hintaan] ei ollut myynti?. Store-palvelun ty?ntekij?n sitten vahingossa markkinoiden yl?s korut mukaan kaksinkertaistaa hinta. Viikon kuluessa korut myyd??n kokonaan. Jos on kallista, se on saanut olla hyv?.

Kontrasti teho

Jos voit siirty? miesten on suuri myynnin ihmiset aina yritt?? myyd? voit kalliita SUIT-ty?kalun, ennen kuin ne myyv?t voit kalliita pusero, paita tai ??nten menness? tasan. Suurikontrastinen toimivaltaa tekee muut kohteet n?ytt?v?t edullinen.

Syyst? teho

Ihmiset voivat todenn?k?isemmin sitoutuu pyynn?st?, jos syy on annettu.

Seuraavat emotionaalinen menetelmi? k?ytet??n houkutella/myy tuotteita ja palveluja kuluttajille. Kuusi psykologinen seikat, jotka suoraan ihmisten k?ytt?ytymist? sis?llytt??

1. Reciprocation

2. Maksusitoumus- ja johdonmukaisuus

3. Sosiaalisen todisteet

4. Mieleen

5. Viranomainen

6. Niukkuuden

1. Vastavuoroisuutta. Jos henkil??, joka myy lippuja arpajaiset mainoksellesi, kahvia, olet todenn?k?isesti ostamaan lippuja arpajaiset. Kova reciprocation lait testata, ett? henkil?, kun niiden tarjottujen-jotain olosi pakko ostaa jotain, vaikka ne eiv?t ole asianomaisten.

2. Sitoumuksen. Tehd? sitoumusta saavuttaa jotain, kun on sitouduttu on voimakas halu yhdenmukainen siihen. Kuten ihmiset ja uskomme sitoutumista, kuva- ja maine on, mit? on vaakalaudalla. Alkaen aikaisessa vaiheessa emme opetetaan pit?? aina meid?n lupaukset. Meid?n ingrained vastaukset on negatiivinen connotations, jos voimme s?ilytt?? n?m? sitoumukset.

3. Sosiaalisen todisteet. Yksinkertaisesti sanottuna, ett? jos toiset tehd?, on hyv? ajatus. Ihmiset seuraa v?kijoukkojen, koska ne katsovat sen viisautta. M??ritt?? vastuun. Jos haluat, ett? asiat kertoa jonkun tekem??n sen, muussa tapauksessa kaikki vain olettaa, ett? se tehd??n.

4. Mieleen. Houkuttelevuutta, samankaltaisuus, terveisin, yhteyshenkil?n ja yhteisty? tehd? henkil? enemm?n. Suurin osa meist?, ett? Kyll? n?iden haluamme pyynt?ihin. Tupperware pit?misest? saattaa my?s kutsua virusmarkkinointi. Ihmiset olivat todenn?k?isimmin ostavat tuotteen, jos he pitiv?t sit? henkil?.

5. Viranomainen. Kun p??t?s henkil?it? ottamaan johtoaseman ihmiset viranomaisen kanssa. Viranomainen voi olla todellinen tai imaginaariosan; ihmiset suuntaus ihmisi?, joilla on ammattinimikkeit? ostamaan. Muut viranomaisen lukuihin sis?ltyy julkkis tuotteen v?rist? tai huijarit, jotka k?ytt?v?t kalliita autot ja r??t?l?id? puvut myym??n tuotteen kaikentyyppisi?.

6. Niukkuuden. (A) psykologinen reaktio on liitteen? t?m?n k?sitteen; ihmiset halua menett??. Kollegio opiskelija ostettujen k?ytettyin? autot, kiillotettu, ja mainostetaan selv?sti korkeammalla hinnalla, kuin mit? h?n oli maksanut myyt?v?ksi. H?nen salainen ase? H?n pyysi kaikille, kuka on vastannut h?nen mainoksen saapuvat samaan aikaan. Saapuvat ensimm?isen kaveri oli osoittanut auton ja kun h?n haku toiseen mahdolliselle ostajalle saapuvat. Sitten toiseen. Ensimm?inen kaveri olisi rivi j??tel? kuuluvat ja muutamia minuutteja mielt??n muodostavat tulli. Ahdistusta, ett? potentiaalisten ostajien mieliss? muodostuneet voisi kuvitella. Jos ensimm?inen kaveri ei osta, toinen teki l?hes aina.

Onneksi Cialdini p??ttelee, ett? kunkin luvun kanssa vinkkej? "sano ei." Riippumatta siit?, kuinka ?lyk?s kuluttajat ovat, ne ovat ep?ilem?tt? laskeneet monille n?m? menetelm?t tahallisesti tai vahingossa. Kuinka monta huono investointien tekemist?, tuotteen ostot tai strategisia siirtoja vaikuttaneet-j?rkiper?isen tekij?it?? Thank goodness automaattinen, mindless p??t?kset ovat nyt releiden!

Review of "Influence - the Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert B Cialdini

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IP is over the quota

I came across this book as it was mentioned in passing by a couple of Internet marketeers that I respect, and they were suggesting that it was a must read. Anyone involved in sales already will have come across this book as it is a seminal work and quoted and copied in sales training. Influence the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini.

I read the book whilst on holiday and I was amazed at the content. These days we all receive e-mail promotions and we are tempted by a lot of them. Some marketeers will tell you that you should save a copy of the e-mail is that tempt you in a swipe file for future reference so that you can emulate the tactics used. Whilst this is a good idea, if you are like me, with no formal sales or marketing training, then you may not notice what tactics they are using and that's where "Influence the psychology of persuasion" comes into it's own.

In the book Robert Cialdini goes through each and every tactic on a chapter by chapter basis with research which he or others has carried out on the tactic, how to recognise it, and how to resist it if you are just being manipulated.

The book absolutely fascinated me and one to be kept on your bookshelf and referred to and re-read on a regular basis. From the book you will gain an insight into how do the marketeers are working you'll recognise their tactics and that alone is a bit of an eye-opener, and then you will be able to apply some of the techniques in your own marketing.

For you personally you will learn how to recognise the tactics being used or new and therefore be able to eliminate the tactic to see if the underlying offer is one that is going to be of benefit to you or if you are just being "brainwashed".

When you read books like this, and Robert T. Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad is another example, you wonder why on earth is this type of fundamental education is not being taught in schools. So as a marketeer this book is a must and as a responsible parent again it's a must.

Living in the "here and now": content and calm of the secret

Is one of the clear way in which East and West opeista are different. In the West, we believe that we should be constantly struggling to improve the lot of us. In the East, the main aim is to end the endless existential by seeking material gain, so that one has the opportunity to enjoy the "perpetual" here and now ". This approach, as well as the image of the famous Buddhist parable show, fleeing from the Tiger, finds himself dangling over the precipice of wine, stay sharp. He looks and sees him, he would be waiting to Devour another tiger. The two mice then start gnawing wines. Would you like to one side, he sees a ripe, juicy Strawberry grows only his fingertips. He IE view out the picks from the fruit and put it in his mouth. How succulent it plays, and how sweet life, the fleeting moment. One of the big differences between animals and humans is that we have in the past and the future, as well as of the moment, the ideas are beautiful and targeted at specific issues. We have a vivid imagination, which is one of our top resources as well as one of our largest creditor, because it allows us to claim the previous errors, and leave you in a shortage of future disasters. It is the main cause of anxiety in our day-to-day.

Sir William Osler, Canadian physician, who became Regius Professor of medicine at the University of Oxford, the customs of his students that they can to cope with the stress and strain of their Professional lives, on the way to live his life "day-tight compartments." All can carry the burden of nightfall until he had received assurances from them, should even the strongest falter if they try to load and also yesterday's tomorrow, the piece of the burden of proof. This is one of the key principles of the idea and practice of the Buddhist, the image of the elderly Indian woman, who approach the Lord Buddha and said wanted to join the community to learn more about the art of Meditation, but he was too busy for two means of escape in this well known story of the family. Buddha, the Customs authorities here, he does not need to be to leave the home, for he can learn to meditate by focusing on the here and now. "Each time you draw a water well for you and your family, are aware of any single action, movement and motion," BA he gave here. "And your chores to maintain continuous mindfulness and awareness of each single instant, for a moment, when the moment comes, the master of Meditation and too."

We have lost such a today, in part, because we try to multi-task and partly because we waste our time, mulling the previous errors and slights. One of the main sports psychology, Tennis players and golfers have to focus on the task in hand, on the other hand, two of the train to allow the performance of the double fault, in the framework of the four-foot putt just to serve you, or you've just missed them. We are only in our peak performance and win is probably the anxiety, if we accept the ' nownessness ' method. This was proven to be a Holocaust survivor research that you have selected in the wizard, and that the victim, who has made the best of the two, an adjustment to the everyday life they were those who managed to push past their minds back to the sufferings and the current, with the day-to-day activities.

Schopenhauer, philosopher, born in Germany, is well known for his Pessimistic Outlook. However, one of the short ray of hope, and his book is suffering, in which she grudgingly acknowledges that one of the world's game might be able to argue the "wisdom of the majority shall consist of the temporary enjoyment of life, present and make the paint because this is all that is real and everything else just imaginary." On the right, select he ruins under the advice of his very next sentence, where he writes: ' but you could just as well call this mode of life, most of the folly; What a moment cease to be, in the Paint as the dream may not be the cause of serious effort. "The conclusion of the hankaloita he seems to forget the Jaundiced all eternity in the presence of an endless succession of moments. If we want, that we may not be able to do in the past, which has gone for a Full life. Can we live in it, and in the future, because it has not yet reached the messages ". Utopia is the here and now, or any, and never. Our goal is to have the track of the ancient proverb: "'s are included in the search to this day, but the dream of yesterday and tomorrow is only a vision. But today, as well as the long-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow vision of hope. "

? Donald Norfolk 2011

Psychology of the Future by Stanislav Grof

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AppId is over the quota

The author is one the foremost writers in the field of transpersonal psychology. This book covers ideas regarding non-ordinary states of consciousness. His discussion draws on for example such fascinating human states of consciousness as past-life experiences, peak experiences, communication with spirit guides and channelling, near-death experiences, crises of shamans like witch-doctors, states of possession, and awakening of Kundalini. He also reports findings from his original research into 'psychedelic therapy' and 'holotropic breathwork'. 

Holotropic consciousness

He writes that in holotropic states, consciousness is changed qualitatively in a very profound and fundamental way although people typically remain fully orientated in terms of space and time, not completely losing touch with everyday reality. At the same time it is said that our field of consciousness is invaded from contents from other dimensions of existence in a way that can be very intense and even overwhelming. We thus experience simultaneously two very different realities, having each foot in a different world.

He goes on to say that holotropic states are characterised by dramatic perceptual changes in all sensory areas. When we close our eyes we may see images drawn from personal history or visions portraying plants or animals, scenes from nature, or of the universe. We may be experiencing realms of archetypal beings and mythological regions. And even when we open our eyes, our perception of our surroundings can be transformed by vivid projections of this unconscious material. Various sounds, physical sensations, smells and tastes may also be involved.

He also describes emotions characteristic of these states. Feelings can be very intense. They may range from ecstatic rapture, content and peacefulness, to terror, murderous anger, utter despair, or consuming guilt. Such states of mind seem to match either the celestial paradises or hellish realms described in sacred scriptures of the world's religions.

He reports that, in these non-ordinary states of consciousness, we may not be able to rely on our judgment of everyday practical matters but we can be flooded by remarkable valid information on a variety of subjects as well as deep insights concerning our personal history, unconscious dynamics, and life problems. He writes that we can also "experience extraordinary revelations concerning various aspects of nature and of the cosmos that by a wide margin transcends our educational and intellectual background."

Finally he comments that the most interesting insights that become available revolve around philosophical, metaphysical and spiritual issues. And so he thinks holotropic states of consciousness facilitate deep personality changes and spiritual opening. 

Spiritual nature of existence

Grof argues that experiences of this kind are the main source of mythologies, philosophies and religious systems describing the spiritual nature of existence.

He maintains that the dogmas and activities of mainstream religions tend to obscure the fact that the only place where true spirituality can be found is inside the psyche of each of us. Most people would probably agree with his assertion that at its worst organised religion can actually function as a grave impediment for any serious spiritual search, rather than an institution that can help us connect with the divine. For, by denigrating its members, it makes it difficult to believe that the divine is within them.

Altered states of consciousness are not unequivocal proof of survival of consciousness after death. However, Grof points out that according to Western neuroscience, consciousness is a product of the physiological processes in the brain, and thus critically dependent on the body. Very few people, including most scientists, realise that we have no proof that consciousness is actually produced by the brain and that we do not even have a remote notion of how something like consciousness could possibly happen in terms of physical matter.

Whilst remaining an agnostic about what happens after death, Grof is absolutely clear that none of the interpretations based on careful study of altered states of consciousness are compatible with the monistic materialistic worldview of Western science. At the same time he acknowledges that a belief in survival and karma will have a profound impact on our behaviour.

This book is published in the Suny Series in Transpersonal and Humanistic Psychology, State University of New York Press. 2000. Grof has an encyclopaedic knowledge of the transpersonal world and it shows. However the reader should be warned about a tendency towards repetition. Many scientists will probably feel he has over-stated his case. Nevertheless I warmly recommend this book and give it a five-star rating.

Copyright 2010 Stephen Russell-Lacy

Stephen Russell-Lacy edits Spiritual Questions a free eZine that explores links between spiritual philosophy and the comments and questions of spiritual seekers.

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Book Review: Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy, By Lisa Wake

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AppId is over the quota

Copyright: 2008

Publisher: Routledge, London and New York; this is a book in their Advancing Theory in Therapy series, series editor Keith Tudor.

Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy by Lisa Wake is a well researched, extensively referenced, and scholarly examination of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and the advancing model of neurolinguistic psychotherapy. I enthusiastically recommend this book to clinicians, researchers, NLP practitioners, and anyone interested in advancing the science and theory of NLP. Little has been written in recent years about the application of NLP in psychotherapy. This book goes a long way toward filling that gap in the NLP literature and does so in a clear and compelling way.

Lisa Wake addresses numerous points that are crucial to establishing neuro-linguistic programming as an accepted psychotherapeutic methodology. Few books in recent years have linked NLP to the theoretical roots from which it arose and considered the implications of these connections to utilizing NLP processes in clinical work. This book is unique in examining the utility of NLP in the broader context of what needs to occur for people to realize behavioral and emotional change in psychotherapy. Her perspective illuminates and highlights how neurolinguistic principles can inform the understanding of the complexity of human subjective experience.

Wake critiques those who have made overly grand claims about NLP, as this has worked against establishing NLP as a scientifically validated methodology. Further, Wake raises concerns about the claims that oversimplify the multiple factors that contribute to behavior change. While NLP is a brief and effective model of therapy, she expresses concern about those who use techniques without consideration of contextual issues, such as the clinical nature of the problems addressed and the characteristics of the therapeutic relationship.

The book discusses the emergence of neurolinguistic psychotherapy as a therapeutic modality. Much more has been done in Europe, as compared to the United States, to establish standards for certifying neurolinguistic skills as a part of the psychotherapeutic repertoire. Wake notes, in discussing the development of standards, that they "could be developed to ensure that they are more flexible and had a greater emphasis on generic psychotherapy rather than proceduralised models generated from the methodology of NLP." This is what European organizations have done, including the European Association for Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy (EANLPt) and the Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy and Counseling Association (NLPtCA).

In my estimation one of the primary accomplishments of the book is emphasizing the importance of a broader scope, beyond isolated NLP methods, to appreciate and realize the potential of NLP as a psychotherapeutic treatment modality. NLP was originally formulated in the 1970's by Richard Bandler and John Grinder by analyzing and modeling the work of Virginia Satir, family systems therapist; Fritz Perls, Gestalt therapy; and Milton Erickson, psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. Wake suggests that much of their valuable work has not always been sufficiently incorporated with NLP and is underrepresented in some presentations of NLP and neurolinguistic psychotherapy. She also cites the work of many others that have contributed to the rubric of neurolinguistic psychotherapy and NLP by examining and elaborating additional points gleaned from Erickson, Satir, and others. Additionally Wake discusses neurolinguistic psychotherapy in the context of some of the newer findings in neuroscience regarding the way in which psychotherapy rewires pathways in the brain, contributing to emotional and behavioral change.

Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy provides historical, theoretical, and methodological information to help the reader understand the place of neurolinguistic psychotherapy in the area of psychotherapy in general. Wake discusses the influences that have informed the principles, skill-set, and presuppositions of NLP. Further, Wake reviews some of the fundamental presuppositions of NLP and puts these in the context of neurolinguistic psychotherapy. She addresses how neurolinguistic psychotherapists have taken the fundamental principles of NLP and adapted them to work effectively in therapeutic context. Wake places neurolinguistic psychotherapy in the context of other forms of psychotherapy. She discusses the influences of, and the interrelationships between, various schools of thought as they relate to NLP; including humanistic and existential psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, Gestalt psychotherapy, systemic and family therapy, psychodynamic therapies, and cognitive behavioral therapy. The many areas she considers establish the theoretical basis for NLP practice and brings this up to date with consideration of emerging findings in neuroscience.

Over the course of several chapters Wake discusses neurolinguistic psychotherapy's perspective on personality, language and cognition, and patterns of programming in a highly integrative manner. She discusses numerous areas where neurolinguistic intervention appears particularly effective, for instance through the use of the language patterns offered by NLP. She considers findings in the neuroscience regarding emotional dysfunction and cognition. She frequently cites Shore (2003) who discusses the neurological impact of psychotherapy and information on the developing brain and how these processes can be impacted through psychotherapy and with NLP techniques. She notes that there is evidence that neurological re-patterning occurs through the process of psychotherapy. She notes that "there exists an enormous potential for linking research and theories in neuroscience to the existing theories in psychotherapy" including NLP. She also comments that "neurolinguistic psychotherapy provides a methodology that facilitates new neurological patterning by changing the different aspects of internal process, internal states or external behavior."

Wake also makes a critical distinction between NLP as an "applied psychology" and NLP's use as part of a therapist skill-set in the broader context of psychotherapy. The integration of NLP technology with therapist skills such as theoretical grounding, psychological knowledge, rapport skills, understanding of process, and self-awareness essentially constitute neurolinguistic psychotherapy. She notes that it is important to appreciate that the therapist plays an active role in the development of the brain in the clients treated, particularly where affective states are present. She posits that if neurolinguistic psychotherapists stay within a programmatic model of working (essentially an applied psychology manner of working) they are not honoring elements of therapeutic process that were valued by Erickson, Satir, and Perls; on whose work NLP was built. Wake encourages neurolinguistic therapists to place the programmatic modeled aspects of NLP in context of the broader therapeutic relationship, as doing so is often needed to create lasting cognitive, emotional and behavioral change through psychotherapeutic processes.

Wake discusses the status of research validation of NLP and neurolinguistic psychotherapy. She reports that there are a limited number of studies available at this point demonstrating the efficacy of NLP in the context of psychotherapy. She discusses a few studies that have. Wake notes that compared to other modalities of psychotherapy, neurolinguistic psychotherapy is "incredibly young" having only recently, since the early 1990's, begun to define and develop standards for the use of NLP technology specifically in the context of psychotherapy. Because of its brief history as a modality of psychotherapy, it has difficulty in demonstrating its effectiveness in sufficiently large numbers to be considered as a therapy of choice. She cites efforts that are being made to rectify this situation, including the NLP Research and Recognition Project. Wake makes several recommendations regarding productive directions for research.

In summary, Wake's descriptions lead the reader to a greater appreciation of the richness of the neurolinguistic approach and of what it has to offer as a psychotherapeutic tool. Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy is an extremely important and useful book. It will be an excellent text for graduate level NLP and/or neurolinguistic psychotherapy course work. This book captures the essence of what is needed to move neurolinguistic techniques into the realm of respected science rather than just applied psychology. A position she articulates effectively is that viewing NLP primarily as an applied psychology has lessened its credibility and perceived utility as psychotherapeutic intervention. This is changing as NLP is more systematically being integrated into clinical practice, but further progress is needed. She correctly argues that NLP needs to be placed in the context of a broader view of human functioning and the functioning of the brain in order to achieve its deserved place as a respected therapeutic modality.

Rich Liotta, Ph.D., is a Psychologist, Author, Trainer, Consultant, and Photographer. As an Author and Fine Art Nature Photographer he strives to encourage appreciation and stimulate potentials toward growth and change. As a Trainer and Consultant he is passionate about providing tools to help people enrich and transform their lives. He offers workshops and seminars, including sponsored events, on a variety of topics. He is a Certified Trainer of Neuro-Semantics, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and Ericksonian Hypnosis. He owns Enrichment Associates Consultation & Training (http://enrichmentact.com/) with his spouse Rosemary. His more community oriented blog is http://changepathsblog.com/. He is a believer in human potential, abundance, and beauty in the world!

You Don't Know Crazy

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IP is over the quota

Mental Illness - It Is My Turn Please, anyone who has been affected by someone they love that was or has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder should read this book. It is from the inside view of the person with the diagnosis versus the person trying to deal with someone else having the behavioral health disease. There is nothing fun about it and if it is not caught early will be mislabeled as a troubled child, person or problem person.

Wambui Bahati basically goes through her life and lays it out on her sleeve for us as she starts from the beginning in her childhood and what she went through growing up. She went through multiple moves in her lifetime and dealt with racial issues during the timeframe when it was high on everyone's mind.

She was educated at New York University studying acting and even then was taking advantage of sexually. What people don't understand is people diagnosed with Bipolar are easy targets for drug, alcohol, sexual and physical abuse. Normally, they also fall in and out of depression easily and they have a hard time trying to find out who they are or constantly blame themselves and are unsure why they cannot make anyone happy.

It takes a strong person to live with someone diagnosed with Bipolar and vice versus. There will be many hospitalizations until medications and therapy find the right mix and the patient continues to take them or find something that works to allow then to get off the rocky road they are traveling. People with bipolar have ups and downs and some refer to them as peaks and valleys. When they hit a low or a valley it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It takes work, patience and lots of love.

As you read on you will see after her second marriage, she is finally able to have a family and is able to find some hope and comfort. After being misdiagnosed for so long at the age of 40 she is finally given the correct diagnosis and she was able to work with the natural remedies versus the harsher medications and moved forward. This in itself is a big challenge. "You Don't Know Crazy" is about a woman who is fighting the battle in her mind. In this case she is taking back control. She is one of the lucky ones; she had the support of the professionals, her family and her friends. To get an inside view of mental illness read this book it does not get any plainer than this.

Review of the Third Chapter - Life 50 - 75

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IP is over the quota

As a sometime career consultant, I continue to search for a book targeting people at mid-life. This book seems to be about preparing for the years just past midlife, which Mary Pipher characterizes as the "young old."

As I've noted in reviewing other books, I often think it's impossible to write a really helpful book about this stage of life because (a) there just aren't a lot of choices for everyone and (b) there's such a variety of people, health levels, skills, aptitudes, background and more. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot deals with (b) by focusing on a small slice of the population: educated, healthy people without financial worries. Within that group, she finds common patterns: a yearning for something that can't always be named, a resistance to change (possibly because successful people tend to resist changing a cherished identity) and finally a learning that differs from previous classroom experiences.

It is insights like this one that led me to give the book a 4-star rating rather than 3-star. I agree with reviewers who complained about the length of interviews, details of subjects' lives and narrowness of subject range. I also agree that the book doesn't present as many original ideas and frameworks as readers might expect from extensive research. But as a former academic myself, I think it's appropriate to work with a narrow sample, as long as you make it clear upfront, preferably in the book's title. There's value in asking explicitly, "If money were no object, how would people choose to enter their sixties and seventies?" At the same time, these people are insulated from many consequences of aging.

I also liked the author's review of the way the notions of aging and retirement have changed. I would have liked to see more on this topic. When I lived in New Mexico I met people who lived in those "55 and up" communities, including one woman who took care of her aging parents. When her mom died, she was in her early fifties: too young, according to the community. I also met people who wondered why I didn't want to live with my age-mates, an idea that makes me feel suffocated. It's good to have the historical perspective.

The best part of the book was the author's interview with economist Matthew Gladstone. Gladstone's perspective makes sense, possibly because I have a b-school background and enjoyed my economics courses. Gladstone suggests that as we continue doing work, the law of diminishing returns sets in. If I understand him correctly, I believe he might suggest that a successful lawyer might get enormous joy out of winning her first case, then her second...but at some point, she will be less joyful. It's like eating a meal when you're hungry; as you start feeling satisfied you don't enjoy the food as much.

I think we could extend economic thinking even further. When you reach a certain age, you certainly can invest whatever time, energy and money you have to learn something new or start a new venture. But your ROI - return on investment - will be limited. You might write one novel and maybe you will even sell it, but you won't have time to go on and write a series that would bring you the real rewards that come to authors after a long career.

I don't agree that the book reads like an academic article or a dissertation, having seen too many examples of the real thing. In fact, I think the book would be stronger if the author had introduced more sociological concepts to frame many examples. For instance, the interviewees made transitions from high-level professional or organizational settings to a more right-brained, artistic and/or spiritual focus. I know many people who never want to stop working. Volunteer work and the arts will never be enough for them (and I feel that way myself). The author notes that one interviewee, Pamela, feels frustrated because there are structural and institutional limits to her contribution. Yet anyone over 50 who wants to continue earning money faces much bigger challenges.

Finally, I admit to being jealous of those who found their new artistic callings. I wish I'd thought of singing lessons, but suspect I will still be advised to tap along to the songs rather than try to sing them. Over the past ten years, I've taken pottery classes in two different states. Each time I had less talent than anyone in the class. It was fun, though, and I just resumed. This time I decided to take on throwing. I still have less talent than anyone and I also have sore deltoids in my left arm. Still, I resonate to the experience of the interviewee, Josh, with learning the piano: trying to aim for a higher level does bring psychic rewards

To get a different perspective on preparing for the aging process, subscribe to the free 12-session Mid-Life Career Strategy Ecourse: Mid-Life Career Strategy Ecourse. Discover why midlife career change often fails and how you can make it work. From Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. Mid-Life Career Consulting.

Book Review - 'The Five Love Languages' By Dr Gary Chapman

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

When I first looked at the book cover I thought 'Oh wow, this looks a bit too sweet for me' but I still bought it as it came recommended by one of my clients as a good and interesting read. This is now many years ago and I have since used ideas from this book with every couple that comes to work with me.

Summary

After many years of counselling, Dr. Chapman realized that individuals had different ways in which they showed love to another person and, for whatever reason, they are usually drawn to someone showing it in a different way. He came up with five basic categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

More in details

This book explains the different love languages (categories) in detail, how to discover your primary love language and talks about what happens through the different stages of a relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman injects his explanations with many stories of people who attended his seminars and who, using the theory of 'The Five Love Languages', have changed the level of satisfaction in their relationship or marriage significantly.

I specifically liked his theory of the love tank and the idea that we pay with the currency of our primary love language whereby the account of the receiver might prefer another currency. He suggests also that couples play a game where one partner asks the other: 'What could I do today that would make your love tank rise?' By taking responsibility for your own needs and likes and stating what that would be you allow your partner to collect more and more ideas about how to make the most effective payments into your emotional love tank.

If you now are curious about which one your primary love language is: There is a test at the end of the book, both for him and for her.

About the author

Dr. Gary Chapman is a pastor, speaker and author. He teaches his 'Five Love Languages' and speaks about marriage, family and relationship, throughout the States and also internationally. He has written over thirty books and created five video programs.

'The Five Love Languages' was published in 1992 and since then has been translated into more than forty different languages. This book has sold over five million copies making it a perennial New York Times bestseller.

Recommendation

More than the number of books sold is the effect this has had on so many couples I've been working with. This book is simple to read for both husband and wife and has practical tips on how to make your relationship more satisfying and happy. This is basic knowledge for any couple, married or not.

Want to know more? Have a look at my blog.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au/ or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com/ and sign up for our newsletter today.

50 Beliefs, Some of which are, in a large percentage of the population Embraced

Guy Harrison's book "in the 50 popular beliefs, people think are true" (Prometheus Books, Amherst, NY, 2012) contains 50 chapters, one for each belief, category, which includes an assortment of picture editing tools and ideas that many people believe to be true. Nothing is true, or at least have little or no credible evidence for the belief in these forms will be reviewed and critiqued by:

* The magical thinking of nine forms.

* Six varieties of the market economy country teorioiden about the world "out there" in astrology, including elements of the alien visitors, and cloak the moon landing.

* Seven concepts, that fly in the face of, science and reason (for example, the Holocaust never happened).

* Five medical fantasy, such as Homeopathy and healing.

* 12 types of tape under the religious palaver "Lure the gods."

* Four of your own beliefs about "the strange man," in particular the Bigfoot, Angels, Ghosts, and witches.

* Four stories "in weird places," including the Bermuda triangle, Atlantis, and heaven.

* Faulty cognition class that is attached to the end of the three strains of Harrison calls the "dreaming," such as "us," or "final Mayat warned is near."

One does not have to be a Penn Jillette, James Randi, Harry Houdini, Michael Shermer, Paul Kurtz, Joe Nickell, or other irrational wackiness keskiaikaiseen or the overall impact of the moment all assess the debunker never believed 50 beliefs. When your "50 popular beliefs," are you sure I started to read did not experience all of the, with the exception of any belief # 39-"the TV preacher need my money." I mean, come on, who can watch the Richard Roberts what seems like the 24-hour day of stops in the financial environment prayer requests and calls for "the seed-level event" (i.e., money) and not overwhelmed the urge to send so much money, as the one? When I am the alight which in his day, the work of the faith appeals infomerical channel, I'm so motivated to send money to another mortgage application you fill in from the start. But then the Lord tells me to keep.

In spite of my already very co-founded on skepticism I found interesting at least 50 reasons for each chapter. Does not have the space or the inclination all 50 reasons, accepted on the list are in this book. This is, however, a few of the features of, in particular, I enjoy. One of the satisfactions of the wellness, the winner of the asylum-seekers would be, in my opinion:

* The foreword-Dr. Phil Plaint explains that we are not born with the gene in the mouse to the right of the skeptic. The children are, of course, to learn. They can test the ideas in the Wizard, instead of power, ties with the development of these ideas or allegiances. This type of learning can be an early pre-science lesson. Alerts and defaults on the basis of the model, but in fact what you believe, what you can do with indifferent or to which you may vote, and so on. Over time, the accumulation of bad ideas are built upside down-a crash in some aspects of the reality of the pyramid is likely. Information trumps beliefs.

* Introduction to skepticism, as defined in the varietal purity, an indispensable way to control the Compass of the world through the often crazy. A healthy, functional nature of skepticism is defined in clear thinking in effective decision making. In addition, the irrationaalisen beliefs, often in perilous consequences. The introduction serves to whet the figures following the mental health of the appetite. The author notes that the skepticism enables us "two to abandon the Astrology astronomy through the fog and the search for stars, two stand up and not thinking human beings."

* The figures for each chapter is related to a set of beliefs that are not critical irrationaalisen, independent of the support (display). In addition, the author explains the principles applicable to the assessment of the claims. He also expresses doubts regarding the ideas, which are also in use, the scientific Summary provides the reality of, and resources, in particular in the books "going deeper".

* Farewell, summary, and a wide range of notes for each chapter and on the biography and index.

This would be a great book of wellness programs. It should be a creative tool, the use of critical thinking lessons. When all of the items, is familiar to all. The biggest obstacle is that many of the participants in the program may not be welcome to some of the topics, such as dealing with "Lure the gods." But a skilled teacher, coach, or an unauthorized access to a wealth of guidance material. The need for such information is the best reason to do it, the possibility of shaking things a little, which abounds in spite of nonsense.

These numbers can always be for the squeamish, lesson plans, save the advanced wellness classes, participants can take control of the total points of maturity!

To his credit, Guy Harrison is generally successful, entertaining in a way that can take some of the sting to face the reality, it offers an extraordinary nature. It is more than the terms lunacy, fraud and unfounded beliefs, simple debunking. Scientific explanations are comprehensible and convincing and scientific discussions are much more interesting than mysticism, and in the Haruka of the Primitive. In addition, the wonder of the universe, scientific discoveries, and the legitimate interests of the mysteries is more inspiring than they will replace the superstitions.

(I) in the case of humor are often measured at the Harrison and his Humility, indicate that the skeptical, scientific mobilization, access must always be open. It is possible, if it is unlikely that the evidence from the point of view of today has more than been tomorrow. Contrary to the religion of science does not have the inclination to defend dogmas or, as the case may be, is scrutiny.

Please read the contents of the training, as well as the pure enjoyment and the merits of the magnum opus is a five-star wellness hit.

Be well, give 'em weller as hell and always try to see the bright side of life.

Publisher's ARDELL WELLNESS report (AWR)-weekly e-newsletter devoted to comments on the current issues that affect personal and social well-being of the quality of life in perspective. The focus is the real welfare, which is also the Don: the latest on the topic. Read here-https://www.createspace.com/3478226-The "Right" also reflects the central issues embraced and developed into Don's philosophy, spirits, vigor, Athleticism and freedom, that is to say, the reason. A sample copy of the Don's most recent request. If you like, you can sign up the the price is right freely. Contact Don at awr.realwellness@gmail.com

Each institution must, in other words,

What each institution must say, Joe Navarro-review

What, in other words, each institution is the institution as one of the world's experts in the language of the primary, a comprehensive book.

Joe Navarro is dedicated to studying body language, passion, which began the age of eight, and her 25-year occupation of his life led by the FBI.

Mix with the careful observation of scientific theory, fill in the address information.

Chapter 1: Mastering Nonverbal Communication Secrets

Body language comprises 65% of all the people in the communication between the Exchange and your not already, you should start paying attention, because our body language tells the truth.

Joe is the 10 commandments, which consist of body language and the continuous monitoring of the base lines, the changes, the uncomfortableness and private is not staring.

Chapter 2: live in our Limbic Legacy

Believe you are Intelligent? -well, you should have three Brains!

' Mammalian limbic brain food ' evaluates to, and freezing, and then, on the basis of the flight.

Survival mechanism in the evolved for thousands of years ago, and is still the owner of its own survival these days. Every time we have a nice we can display a greater confidence and uncomfortable in the presence of low confidence in the behaviour of always.

That we are not comfortable, we use the pacifying of the conduct of the two to promote the feeling of your own brain directly. Differences between men and women, however, as a general rule, this type of behaviour to take contact with our head in our face, Whistling, yawning, our own feet and also for hugging ourselves.

Chapter 3: getting a leg body language

The peoples of the legs to provide uncensored information about their inner most thoughts.

Varottavia happy feet, which in the case of the trend towards the feet, pressed by an unparalleled in the preparation of the splay foot, in order to determine what someone is blindly to the knee.

If you need we also comfy We cross our feet and friends will mirror the other's legs. The foot movement, foot for foot of the lock and leave with the freeze for significant changes to reveal the comfort and ease.

In the event that you need to understand, if perhaps someone you can order when they meet when shaken their hands, if they remain in or move towards or away from you.

People walk forty different ways!

Chapter 4: installation tips

Of individuals with regard to the inclusion of issues such as end of things is, in addition to the two. If we will not be able to take away something we do in our arms a shield used to hate.

Every time you try to defend the dominant position on their chests or splay of puff in the torso movement.

The legs, as in the case of the upper part of the body, be honest, in part because it is in the US, the body body!

Chapter 5: Knowledge is literally at your fingertips

The arms are used to indicate an abuse of a dominant position, for example, arms akimbo as hooding. We are throwing our arms in the air when we are happy and hug people, like a lot. Future contact with someone in the arm is the best ways to get quickly to the report.

We also place their own guns to jewelry to prosperity.

Chapter 6: under control

Oman is in the hands of the people through, inter alia, the animals, the distinctive and simple standard encryption properly, we can become a much more convincing, a pleasant, in addition, two credible.

You can upset the individuals in your hands, simply pointing device, snap your fingers on the ping or the "bird".

Be aware of steepling, thumb, genital, frozen, hand-wringing, framing the neck touches, such as a tajuttomina all microexpressions of thought processes.

When the handshake, do not try to control it, it does not work. A large enterprise the handshake is the best choice!

Chapter 7: the minds of the drawing canvas

Our facial expressions are a common language. People can work more than 10 000 different facial expressions.

We do not Hide our feelings because we cannot face expressions must, however, face control are, however, useful to the emotions.

Be aware of the blocking behaviour, such as squinting unparalleled eye pupils. People do this, they do not Enjoy what they see. As well as that they say is acceptable we the students, the percentage of the brow line and dilation, also in the eyes of the flashbulb.

Ill-tempered has actually exposed by the rolling eyes and sneering. The Lip area, the nose, forehead, cheeks and face all of the data is actually sent to the mixed signals, negative feelings, which tend to be more honest.

Curiously, the mesh of the injury does not show the honesty and, in General, is used by psychopaths!

Chapter 8: detection of fraud

Our body language, in spite of the inherent reliability of the body is located, at any time, it remains difficult to find out. Even the most security levels in the body language, the reader can identify the deceptiveness of 60% of the time. Polygraphs are only 60-80% accurate. That is mainly due to the fact that the top is a survival tool.

Every time you try to identify fraud, make sure that you identify the body language when it is in a nice base level. Be aware of the blocking objects, pacifying the behaviour of the clusters, synchrony and attention.

To take and get a great view!

Chapter 9: Final thoughts

We are taught to listen to what people say. See, just bodies explains what peoples and a whole new arena of the communication, the open!

Book review-the effect (the consolidation of Psychology), Robert Cialdidi

"Affect", the consolidation of classic book explains why people say "Yes" to psychology and how these interpretations.

Dr. Robert Cialdini is a rapidly expanding influence and the consolidation of the debut of the expert. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research with the research of the three-year program, which moves people to the problem has led to the development of this highly acclaimed. You will learn the six principles to be trained in their use of universal persuader and how to defend yourself against them. Perfect for people of all levels of Government, the "influence" of the principles of the profound personal change and move you to help you succeed in the Act of driving.

The book is divided into five main chapters: "Reciprocation, commitment and consistency,", ",", "Social proof", "Mind", "authority" and "Scarcity". Together, they form the Cialdini's "weapons of influence". Each chapter has been delivered to these "weapons" in the society, the width of the illustrative loads.

For example, the chapter, the reader upkeep shall be adopted in accordance with the examples of collectible dollar bills, Naughty children, personal weapons, in the Soviet Union, the juries, vary, $ 3.3 million dollars for a TV show in the Poseidon Adventure, and more. At the end of each chapter, the Cialdini to teach the reader to identify when each of the "influence" of a gun could be affected by the decision, and how we react accordingly.

As I have said, there are many great examples of that. How does a car travelling salesman who sent each month for 13,000 each month for the two types of cards with a card saying, "I like you". People belonging to this? The short answer is "Yes"!He made more than $ 200,000 a year, car sales.

Or how the story of how the Chinese were American prisoners of the Korean war, they betray their country by setting the essay questions for the commitment and cosistency of power?.

My Verdict:

Many of the books on this theme and this is without doubt the best and many other genre base.

This book shows how to let the auto-pilot for the majority of allowing us to influence the judicial exploited by the hour.

This book shows us how to use technology, but how the security measures of the other using us ourselves.

Reads very well, but in General, it can be overwhelming, going places.

I have a 4.5/5 and recommend it.

Amazon available ? 6.92

For more information about the impact and the consolidation can be found in my website and blog http://www.secretcoverthypnosis.com/.

Traumas Can Be Treated - Here's How

IP is over the quota
IP is over the quota

The Trauma Treatment Handbook: Protocols Across the Spectrum

by

Robin Shapiro

What a great book. Plainly written, packed with information and resources, the author demonstrates an astonishing depth of knowledge, grasp of scores of trauma therapies, along with compassion and warm empathy for trauma survivors. All this underscored with a scientific objectivity and a lively sense of humor.

Not only does Shapiro present the reader with detailed guides to many types of therapy for helping people who've suffered a trauma (ranging from childhood abuse to sexual assault to car crashes to the terror of war) but there's a chapter for therapists ourselves for whom listening to the often heart-wrenching stories from clients is itself traumatic.

A rich choice of techniques for healing trauma provides the reader with clear guides to the familiar (e.g. psychodynamic theories developed from the musings of Freud) to less common or unusual therapies (such as Brainspotting and Dialectical Behavior Therapy).

For those of us not bathed in the holy waters of DSM -IV(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) the author lists dozens of the acronyms that represent labels for many kinds of human distress, and the amazing variety of therapies to combat trauma in particular. (Shapiro ends this exhaustive two-page list with "WTF?: response to so many acronyms!")

The author (who already has two published books on the subject) describes EMDR [Eye Movement and Desensitization] in satisfactory detail and suggests that a better label would have been "reprocessing therapy" because it consists of BLS (bi-lateral stimulation). EMDR also "includes elements of mindfulness, somatic awareness, exposure, and cognitive therapies."

The "energy psychologies' with their ability to cure phobias in a single session, are given their due from the original TFT (Thought-Field Therapy) through EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), to TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and the work of clinical psychologist David Feinstein who is "married to Donna Eden, the maven of energy medicine." (Which reveals my ignorance as I'd never heard of her).

In the chapter on hypnotherapy, Shapiro cleverly incorporates Ericksonian language that offers the reader a brief experience of hypnosis. Several hypnotic techniques for dealing with trauma illustrate the power of this approach. (Only Hypnotic Olfactory Conditioning is missing).

This book gives the therapist -- novice or experienced -- a massive choice of approaches to apply to a specific traumatized client. There are also specialized chapters on grief, the military and borderline personality disorders. Within each chapter and at the end of the text, are rich references for further learning. 

Bryan M. Knight is Canada's foremost hypno-psychotherapist. Find out more about how you can benefit from hypnosis by visiting his site Hypnosis Depot where all your questions about hypnosis will be answered.